i feel like a screaming child..
I don't want to let go...
i feel like its over..
I know its not
But it feels like a big part of my heart was ripped out.
You Love him.. You Like me..
I loved you.. You liked me...I understand
I could never compete..
Even if everything went my way eventually
I could never compete...
I understand You don't want to hurt me...
Its just...
it's just....
I gotta find someone else
get my mind off of you..
Im glad you're working it out..
I really am
You may not believe me.. But i am...
He just needs to appreciate you more...
He needs to realize what he has...
He needs to be there for you
he just needs to understand...
you....
and that is what makes me sad...
I realize you... I get you.....and all you do..
I understand you...
and how you put others before you...
I understand it more then you think..
But i can't have you
I need to get through this and make my feelings calm down..
They need to die...it's hard... but i'm smothering them...
I'm sorry for being rude...
I really am.. I did not want you to think i was trying to be rude.. and I am not rude to my friends.. i just felt you were rude to me.. and i was trying to adjust to your rudeness towards me...
Miscommunication all throughout the friendship...
Feelings.. emotions.. thoughts..
I was jealous.. still am.. cuz i feel like you should be with me.. but you're not..
I was mad at him for not seeing all you are...
(sigh) it's ok. :-(
i'll get better..
Just know..
I love you man.. always will
and i will be there for you when you need me..
But as we both decided we need to take a complete break from each other....
Get ourselves together..
So that when we are friends again we are stronger and won't get into this situation again as long as you are with him...
dang..
i really see y'all being together forever...
(sigh)
I gotta accept that.....
i gotta find someone for me...
Someone to have the same love that you have for him...
Someone to fill the void and not make me feel alone in the world...
Someone..
But i have come to terms that it is not going to be you...
So.. I say this with a deeply heavy Heart, and tears coming into my eyes, and my feelings deeply hurt by having to say this but "Have an awesome life and time with him, y'all deserve and need each other, have lots of kids, and lots of good times, grow old together, be together, cuddle, kiss, just enjoy each other"
It's not going to be me... i have accept that..
Isn't life funny..
the guy i dream about, when i see him, i can't and won't have him"
HA :-(
This was the closets i have ever been to having a sense of love in my life...
Now its gone.. and i'm left alone...
Hopefully someone will come soon.. but again until then.. I just have the memories of what was (or what I thought was).
So appreciate what you have...
Ha.. You had double love at one time.. that's funny :-(
So when you go back to the one love
I go back to nothing.
So when you are cuddling and kissing and loving him, remember everyone does not have that, So appreciate it.... Also remember some of us are just waiting for someone to set our Hearts free.
I'm glad y'all hearts are free.
i just wish mine was also.
Thanks for the lesson learned....
It's hard...
I'll get through it...
cold, lost, dark, and worn,
Looking for someone to bring the light and the right outta me....
As much as i wished and hoped it could be you.....
I realized it's not you on a relationship lover type of way :-(
But until i find Mr. Right like you have.. I still smile, but inside i'm cold, full of void, Lost and alone....
Still...... with no one to hold.
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