I'm Looking.... and Getting Tired.

I'm lookin for someone to hold onto
I'm lookin for you, I'm lookin for you, I'm checkin for you
I'm lookin for someone that I can trust
I'm lookin for you, I'm lookin for you, and baby it's you
I'm waitin on you to say those words
I'm waitin for you, I'm waitin for you, I'm patient for you
I'm thinkin bout how it would be at night
You holdin me tight, you squeezin me tight all through the night

I've been all around
I said I been here and there and everywhere
And I have not yet found you
But until then I know my heart is true
But I can't wait, anticipate, it's getting harder
So much love inside, and I still have not yet found
Someone for me, truly for me

I gotta quit foolin myself
Thinking I'm gonna be fine, wastin my time
I wanna be like everybody else
I wanna fall, I wanna see, what about me
Will I ever fully be complete
I know there's someone waitin for me
So if you're listenin, baby rush right over
Cause I need you next to me

I've been all around
I said I been here and there and everywhere
And I have not yet found you
But until then I know my heart is true
But I can't wait, anticipate, it's getting harder
So much love inside, and I still have not yet found
Someone for me, truly for me

If I could trade my fame and all my jewelry
You know that I would cause it don't mean nothing to me, babe
All I need is the warmth of a man, the strength of his hand
Let me sing it again

If I could trade my fame and all my jewelry
You know that I would cause it don't mean nothing to me, babe
What I need is the warmth of a man, the strength of his hand
Let me sing it again

I've been all around
I said I been here and there and everywhere
And I have not yet found you
But until then I know my heart is true
But I can't wait, anticipate, it's getting harder
So much love inside, and I still have not yet found
Someone for me, truly for me.......


Nicole Wray "I'm Looking"


This is EXACTLY where i am at right now...
I just don't know who that "You" is.
I thought I had finally found who it was.. but.....
It wasn't.
So.....
I am looking.. and I'm getting tired... it's a process i do not want to continue to go through... It's the same procedure.. I like someone.. but can't have them for one reason or another... So i ultimately end up depressed and hurt..
It's a sad searching process.. But when i try to change it.. I still get the same result.. I can't have them...So i'm looking.. But i am continuously getting more and more tired. to where eventually it seems i will give up on love for me altogether.
It's messing with my confidence....
Its messing with my emotions...
Its messing with Me.
I need to get out and find someone.. Meet different people..
But i do not want to go through this same procedure again.. I'm tired.. I want this search to be over... even just for a little bit... Can a guy find someone who is not a Homophobe... STRAIGHT, Have Random Extreme Issues or TAKEN! It's getting redundant.
I want someone who likes me for me...
Not just for sex.. That's getting old also.. I see younger guys having the time of their life with their significant other and i think "what do they have that I do not have?" its frustrating...
And tiresome.
My soul is longing to have that connection with someone to love and hold and chill and encourage and just be there.
I don't think i am asking too much...
I really don't....
Some say it's not my time....
Well I say...
My Time is running out...
And before it runs out.. I just once want to feel what Love feels like...
I don't know what it is....
I've never had it
I never felt it...
Just false love that lasted maybe 2 min to 6 hours.
That's it....
I'm starting to think thats all i deserve.. Fake love..
Not worthy of real true love.
Not worthy of it..
Wow that some powerful stuff right there...

the more the days go by...
the more i lose hope...

Hopefully that "You" comes into my life before i completely shut down and Lose all hope...
To the point to where if someone does come into my life I am completely shut off to them.

I wanna love, but the more i live. the thought of someone loving me back fades more into the darkness.