The Moment I am Waiting For.

I would LOVE to start a relationship with someone with a couple of dates... simple... nothing major.. but each of us eventually knowing we are really into each other... But too afraid to tell the other...so we wait.. Patiently.. wishing, hoping that the other might make the first move... Slowly or Quickly building up anticipation... waiting for that moment... the moment where our minds are racing, hands sweaty, thoughts are everywhere...the moment where firworks will explode in our bodies, the world will stop... and it will just be me and him.. Nothing else will matter, for that brief moment in time... Everything will be at ease.. and we will both know...that this.... THIS is THE one.... The One That we have been waiting for... I'm waiting.....for that Moment... That quick moment in time....the moment that will start it all..the moment of the soft, ever so light, gentle.....first kiss.

Dry and Bored!

I have noticed that the last two guys I have been with.. either went all the way or just fooled around with... Have been soo dry and just plain out boring... I don't know what I am looking for.. But it SURELY is not that! I want someone to want to kiss me, and hold me... But also show me some new things.. I hate being bored.. I'm bored at work.. I'm bored at home... so the last thing i want is a BORING SEX LIFE.. and i know it is not me because I try to bring new elements and things into the mix, but it just gets shut DOWN.. I NEED SOMEONE WITH ADVENTURE AND EXCITEMENT.

JANUARY END OF THE MONTH REPORT!

So For 2013 I amd going to try and do a monthly report at the end of each month.

With it being January 31st... GOSH ALREADY...

It's time for the 1st Installment..

So Here We go!

JANUARY 2013.

Entered this New Year and Month with a lot of Goals.
Moving is still on my brain since the date is getting closer (March). Started officially Apartment Hunting and saw some really good places.. Some.. More expensive then others... But the ones I went to were all good... Now the next task is figuring out the little details of what i could live with and what I can not.. i.e. central air and heating.. yay or nay... Electic or Gas stove... all utilities paid.. or none at all.. and what is in my budget.

My mother and her husband went to Washington DC for the Inaugaration of President Obama and LEFT RIGHT after he was inaugarated (which was at the BEGINNING of the ceremony) They missed Beyonce, Kelly Clarkson, and a whole bunch of other people performing.. Now WHY would you make that trip ALL THE WAY TO WASHINGTON DC.. and leave before the ceremony was over.. its BEYOND ME.. but my mother is weird.. very weird.. so i would not put that past her!

While she and her husband were gone i had Jesus come over so that we could spend some time together.. I had a lot of fun.. But i just wish he was into me more. :-(

Got DRUNK for the first time! Let him drive my car back drunk... Got a parking ticket... hmm.. what else happened that night.. oh yea.. threw up!!!! and then saw an accident happen that night! THAT was an experience I NEVER have to go through again!

Continued talking to Andrew J... It's not the same.. I am not even to try to make it the same as it was before... i don't want it the same as it was before... Something just told me to hit him up... so I did. I can already tell though, that this talking to him wont last. No effort from him it seems, so imma let it go.

Andrew Bogar just RANDOMLY started hitting me up again.. which was VERY weird.. because he calls me babe and baby, and cutie and all of that.. I dont know where he thinks its ok to call me all of those when I am not even into him and he knows it.. but if it makes him sleep better at night.. then whatever.. I know that this friendship is not turning into ANYTHING more then just that.. A FRIENDSHIP!

I am continuing to work out.. I like the workouts.. but I need to get bigger results.. and that comes from eating more.. but when I try to eat more.. I end up throwing up! :-( Sad i know...

I started going back to Debbie Reynolds Dance Academy... Man I get soo nervous everytime i go there.. I really don tknow why.. I guess i want to fit in soo bad that I start to get nervous because i feel like everyone is judging me.. and i know they are! HAHAHA! I always feel like i do HORRIBLE in class.. like my body is not doing what my mind is telling it to do.. or that i am not doing it correctly.. I REALLY want to be a successful dancer.. But i am letting doubts and everything creep in and it saddens me to no end. Nothing is impossible right.. so I know i can do it.. I just have to overcome this fear.. and maybe start my own form of dancing.. I dont know.. HAHAHA

Celebrated my Aunts Birthday this month.. and am still trying to figure out what to do for Marsha's Birthday.. I had something planned.. but with the moving and all the expenses i have.. i had to push it back.. so now for plan B.

Well that is my January 2013 Report.. Stay tuned for February!! :-)

Partner Let me Upgrade you..... NOT!!!!!!!!

As i sit here in these last 20 minutes of my work day, I decided to write a little bit. I have noticed that I am figuring out What kind of man I do not want. I have meant to write about this WEEKS ago but I never found the time.. Or was too tired by the time I got home. So I am writing it now.

I have been noticing that everyone I deal with on the Love issue is not on my level.. Now I am not saying I am better then anyone, but.. What I am saying is that the people I deal with can not bring ANYTHING to the table.. I.... ALWAYS have to do everything for them and it is DRAINING! Then I feel jipped because they do not really seem interested in me...(after i do all this stuff for them) Then brings on the depression because then I start to think I am ugly and unwanted and so on and so forth. I constantly find myself in that situation where I am feeling unwanted when all I am is there for whoever I am trying to get to know... I am always willing to help, and just putting my all into them, when in return.. I get nothing.. It's like a broken record.

I truly, am tired of it.

Tired of feeling like I am forcing someone to hang out with me.

Tired of doing things for them, It seems like they only hang out with me to DO THINGS for them (i.e. buying food, clothes, etc.)

Tired of not being treated with the same respect I give them.

Just tired of it all.

So...

It's about that time I step my Game up!

Know what I am worth and only show interest in someone who can actually bring something to the table... They wont even get a look from me unless they can show me they are worth my time.

Because I have wasted too much time, drained too much energy, and wasted too much of my precious life on all these other no good people...

I'm moving on up

And all these No Job, No Goals, No Car, Broke fellas are not gonna cut it.

Celebrating on MLK Weekend

So... This past weekend... WOW.. this past weekend...

So first of all it was THREE DAY WEEKEND (HOLLA!!!) So i seized the opportunity to have some "company" over for the weekend. I invited my friend Jesus over so we could spend some time together since my mother and her husband were going to be away.
I could not wait.. I was soo excited. (Plus I was SUPER HORNY so you know what was going down!)
I picked him up... Took him back to the house... we chilled ;-) and then just relaxed for the rest of the night. It was nice.

On Saturday I picked up Marsha and we three went to this place called "The Original Pancake House" <-- I believe that is what it was called. It is in Anaheim so it was a little bit of a drive but man was it worth it. I got this Cinnamon Apple Waffle thing.. WOW it was soooo good! Their Eggs were off the chain also!
Then I went apartment hunting. Went to Covina to Azusa then to Pasadena to look for apartments. Saw a couple thart might be potentials but i have to do a little more research on them before I decide anything else. The apartment that was in Pasadena around my job was AWESOME!!!!! But the only downfall was that it is $2,200 dollars a MONTH!!!! and i am not Beyonce or Jay-z Balling to be paying that much FOR A STUDIO!!!!!! now granted the studio was Nice.. But still.. For real?!?! Why soo much!!!
HAHAHA

Anyway.. After that this guy i met a couple months ago named Pierre had a going away party at Fiesta Cantina in West Hollywood because he is going on a trip to the bahamas. So I decided to go with Jesus and just get out! I do nto go out that much because the club and bar scene is really not my style of places to hang out at. Something usually happens that I do not like whenever i am at a place like a bar or a club. Which happened this noght also! Let me explain.

So we get to the bar and it was not really crowded. The crowd seemed calm and everything was just flowing smoothly. The had a 2 for 1 special ($15 dollars is not really, in my eyes, a 2 for 1 special cuz usually the drinks I drink are 7 dollars anyway.. but whatever haha) So i decided to order the first drinks for me and Jesus. I got us a Tokyo Tea. It was extrememly good but Jesus said it was really strong.. I did not think so and i Downed that thing like it was water! HAHA... Then Pierre and his sisters and friends showed up and we were all having a good time. I decided to get us another drink and i ordered an Adios! (Decided to keep my tab open at the bar.. keep that in mind ok) The Adios was also very good and i downed it like it was water.. I was still feeling fine and Interacting with everyone and just having a good time. Then Jesus ordered the last drink.. **tisk tisk tisk**** That was a mistake.. He came back with Rum and Coke... Now.. I had been on a Mainly Clear alcohol flow ALL DAY.. and he knew that.. I am sure he did.. so for him to come back with Rum and Coke! HAHA I should have known not to drink it.. but i did anyway.. and THAT MY FRIENDS is what MESSED ME UP!!! I noticed i started to become more touchy feely with Jesus and kissing him in public and things liek that.. I usually never do things liek that but dang.. i by this time... i was gone and did not even know it.
I then went to go use the bathroom.. i peed... then washed my hands...then politely and quietly... threw up in the trash can... and then what happened?!?!?! I GOT KICKED OUT THE BAR!!!!!!!!!!! HORRIBLE!!!!
Thank Goodness is was 1:30 am and the bar closed at 2 so all i had to do was wait for 30 minutes for Jesus to come out because he was not answering his phone when I attempted to call him. SO he walks out and we start walking to the car.. well i was stumbling to the car... and he asked me if i had my debit card.. and i told him no... So he went back and got my card for me.. While he was gone I sat on a curb and threw up a little more and just had my head down.. That's all i remember at that point in the story.. Jesus came back and had my card and id and we went to the car.. I was all over him because i could nto stand.. we then go to the car and he decided to drive.. Not grant you he had as much alcohol as I did, so he was basically on the same level as me. Horrible.. i told him to lay down and just sleep for a bit, but he wanted to get me home... So off we went.. I was too gone to even be scared!!! I remember him talking on the phone and also Playing with my dick (I guess in order to keep himself up!) while he was driving me home. Then right when we were on my street we saw someone Get into an ACCIDENT!!! It was a HIT AND RUN and involving an OLD LADY!!!! This guy hit her and then kept going!! So Jesus Decided to stop and then go out and help the lady! It was really nice of him.. I could not do anything but sit and watch.. even when the cops were there I just could not do anything but sit and observe. They asked me a few questions but thank GOODNESS they did nto do any kind of alcohol test on me! I had to drive the rest of the way home because Jesus was feelign really down about seeing the accident. But i was less then a 4th of a mile away from my house so I was good.

The next Day we woke up and i did not really have a hangover.. just my stomach was hurting..Jesus told me i recieved a Parking ticket in Hollywood :-/ and Marsha decided to come over and bring us some smoothies.(oh by the way marsha did not go to the bar with us because she had to work, but she was PISSED she missed me drunk HAHA) and we hung out all on Sunday.. sitting and laughing and just having a good time.. we went to Chevy's and then just chilled some more... After Marsha left me and Jesus decided to "Chill" some more before bed, and then we slept like babies... I like having someone in the bed with me... It feels nice. :-)
On Monday morning I dropped Jesus home and then just to home and slept some more. Marsha came over again and i showed her how to make a Peach Cobbler.. It came out pretty good. :-) And my mother and her hisband came home around 8:20 at night (WAY EARLIER THEN EXPECTED) Heard a little bit about her trip and then knocked out..

Now I am at work writing this post because i really want to remember this weekend forever.. i had a good time.. but Yea.. never again will i be that drunk in public..I was a total mess.. a little embarrassed and just not able to function was a little scary for me.. So.. Now i know my limits.. Get it together Darrick! HAHA..

But overall I had an AMAZING Weekend filled with people i enjoy hanging with...

Glad i got to experience that.. 2013!!! WOW ALREADY.. What else you have in store for me?!

First Post of 2O13!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! (11 DAYS LATE) hahaha

First off i would Like to say WELCOME TO 2013!!!!! I have NO IDEA what is in store for me but I am going to embrace everything with Open arms. Know that its a learning experience and keep it pushing! :-)

Ok. Now since the new years started I have taken a dance class.. YAY! CONTINUED working out.. i am seeing results :-) and started the process of finding a place to move.. I can say I have done a lot in the past 11 days... I am excited to see where i am going to move though.. Still nervous.. But i am excited...

No onto something different. Just a thought. i will not dwell on it.. but just a thought i have seen in the past 11 days also.

I have a friend who is married.. and his husband is pushing him away. Its a weird situation but as he was explaining the sitatuion He said "All I want to do is spend time with him"

That got me thinking....

I would Love to Have someone i Love or even just Like just want to spend time with me! Connect with me! Just want to be in the same area as me. Have that feeling of "I can't wait to see him" when we are apart. I would LOVE THAT!!!!

The older i become the more i see that People do not appreciate the good they have until it is gone. My Freind is a really good guy. i really dont understand why his husband is pushing him away.

But anyway!

I hope everyone had an AMAZING NEW YEARS and i will holl aat this blog Later!!!!

PEACE! 2O13!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOL. :-)

2012... GONE!

So... Another Year.. GONE! 2012.. WHERE DID YOU GO?! hahaha

I had a LOT OF FUN this year.. I went to Hawai'i and Las Vegas, New York, Big Bear, Indio, and tons of other places. I did not dance as much as I would have liked.. But not to worry.. I will do LOTS LOTS MORE OF THAT NEXT YEAR!

I learned a lot about myself this year. Just dealing with Friendships. And what an Actual friend is... I stated going to the gym again and just working on my fitness. I have goals i want to achieve very soon.

2012 is the last year i will be living in the house with mother. Yes.. you heard me right.. I am moving out.. It's about time! HAHAH..

2012 was the year where i finally started to do things when and how i wanted to. its the year that taught me i can do things on my own.

Had my 1 year mark of having a Stable job... Man that meant a lot!

I started to become more of my own person. Not depending on other people to make choices for me. Independence... It felt good.

2012..

One of the Best years of my Adult Life.

I may not have done or gotten everything i wanted to this year.. But overall, it is one that I will never forget. In a good way!

So.. Here's to 2O12!!!! One of the Best Years of My Life....

And to 2O13!!!! I'M READY for you!

CHEERS!