2O1O in Review

So.... 2O1O is basically over.... and I am going to do my own Year in review...

Let's see...
Where to Begin?...
I guess with January!!! HAHAHAHA (But the rest of this i saw was not in any particular Monthly order!)

Well the start of this year i was still hung over this Dude..... Still caught in that Fairytale of a world that maybe, possibly, things could work out. Wounds were still fresh and emotions and feelings were still there... (Lame I know)
Bad thing about it was i started dragging someone else through that mess and starting hurting them the same way the previous guy hurt me. I saw a vicious cycle that was trying to continue and i had to stop it.
So i did.. The last guy got hurt.. but he moved on quick! HAHA (Good)

I graduated from College with a Decent GPA.. I mean.. I could have done a little better but i am glad i pulled what is considered a good GPA out at all with all the stuff i was mentally going through the last three semesters of my college career. HAHA.. Soo glad i am done with college but at the same time really want to go back to get more educated.. I realized the value of learning AFTER i graduated.. HAHAH.. isn't that funny!

I Attended Debbie Allen's Hip Hop Intensive probably for the last time this June because i have seen the decline in people my age.. and the incline of people in their teens or even in their first ten years of their LIVES! hahaha...
Don't get me wrong.. I love the kids.. But the learning atmosphere is not the same and the kids talk way too much and are not respectful and I am starting to look like i am a pedophile being around all these kids and dancing with the kiddies! EWW.. and that is NOT ME!
So debbie allen had a good run.. but i am done with it.. (2005-2010)

I finally put the Axe on the one sided friendship with the First boy i talked about in this post..I believe that was in July... We tried to have a friendship, I did not even want him as a boyfriend by this time in the year anymore..... but it just was not working... i guess he thought i was asking too much of him. The only thing i asked of him was to keep his word, but i guess that was too much. So I finally realized and saw the value of the friendship through his eyes and decided i was not going to put up with it anymore. Gave that friendship the heave hove. Have not talked to him since.

I believe my eye sight went down a little bit...(gotta get that checked out to be for sure.. but i really believe it did) But the good thing is I can just go and get that checked and fix the problem! YAY for technology! :-) (but if the problem continues to go southern... I might go and see about Lasik. Hmm.. I heard it works.. but we shall SEE.. get it.. SEE! hahahahahaha)

I went to JAPAN in June! Oh My gosh.. that trip was beyond AMAZING!!! I really want to go back.. Everything out there.. the people.. the streets. the lights.. the dancing.. the technology, the culture, the food, the cars, the walking, EVERYTHING was sooo much different out there it blew my mind. I went out there to dance and ended up really enjoying myself.. Thanks Boogiezone Breed for the opportunity. That trip was also my Graduation gift from my mother.. Thanks Mom.

Speaking of my Mother.. My Mom's Husband was released from Prison in June also... That/This is one of the toughest things i have had to deal with in my life... People really do not understand the situation... so I deal with it on my own...... I am living with a guy i really do not like. I have told him plenty of times over the years how much i dislike him, and for my mother to marry him behind everyone's back and then not tell anyone until there was nothing we could do or say was wrong.. sooo wrong to me.... And then she is going to talk about acceptance but then not accept me being gay and who i would like to date....
At least i am not hiding mine... who i am interested in and everything...
My mom has never asked me once what i felt about her marrying him, because she does not care. She has told me that herself. She has also told me that when i date someone, that she does not want to meet him or even have him in the house. She can not accept me or him. So... Why should i accept who she is married to.. I mean.. I did not like this dude from the first time i saw him.. (back in 1997) and the simple fact that he broke my mom's heart and then the next thing i know they are married while he is still in prison makes no sense to me. She linked him to this family and i feel he is getting a free ride.. IT'S FUNNY THOUGH WATCHING HIM as he does not know how to do ANYTHING since he has been out of the real world for soo long! HAHAH!
Me and my mothers relationship is horrible just because of her actions.. but whatever.. I am tired of trying.

I got braces......... Again.
I fell in LOVE with music... Again...
I became obsessed with the internet... Unfortunately... Again.

I started a cologne collection.. and I am quite Proud of my collection soo far.. and i want more! I love to smell good! AHHH... and when someone else smells good... Boy you just don't know what it does to me!!! (Darrick calms himself down...) it is a BIG + IN my book.. AHHHH.. hahahahahahahaha

Umm.. OHH... My 24th Birthday!! I did not do anything.. and if i did.. i do not remember so it must not have been THAT great! But i am thankful for making it to 24! HeeHee!

I did my first Dancing Carnival!!!! Ummm.. Actually this year i danced in Two Carnivals! (Thanks Audge & Ricky and Boogiezone)
I had such an amazing time doing them and learning about another part of dance through those experiences.

I also went to Halloween Horror Nights At Universal with my cousins and some of my dancing team Breed.. I had an Scary time there also.. it was funny watching Mario Get scared all up and down the park! HAHAHA.. We need to do it again! HAHAHAH

And then I had my Major Jaw Surgery on the 18th of December....
Man...
This has changed my life literally forever...
My Bite is all good now and i wont have chipped teeth by the time i am 30 anymore! YAY!!! Preventing things before they happen is Amazing! I am still in recovery mode as i wont be able to chew anything until the end of January. But that is ok.. Because i know it is a small price to pay for a long lasting result.
I will never take for granted chewing and food ever again..
That first week was HELL having to eat everything through a straw or have it blended up! EWW! and now i am eating softer food, but only if i can stick it in my mouth and tongue it down to death and then swallow it. HAHAHAHA.... everyone laughs at me when i eat because I eat soo slow! HAHAHA...

Speaking of food.. I did up my cooking skills TREMENDOUSLY this year.. MAN I AM SOO PROUD OF WHAT I CAN COOK AND HOW I PLAY WITH SEASONINGS AND everything.. It's one of my biggest accomplishments of this year.. because i know it will only grow from now on.... This year was Desserts.. next year is Dinner!!!!! Actually tomorrow i am learning how to make New Years dinner.. (even though i know how to make it already.. i am watching and learning again just to be sure)

And as for Tonight I did not have any plans until yesterday when a friend invited me to his house for a little get together. This will be the 2nd time I would have gone to his house for New Years Eve. I am excited.. i mean.. it's nothing big and over the top.. but it works for me.. a few friends... some good food (that i cant eat.. ha ha ha.. tear.. hahahahaha).. some alcohol. (that I WONT drink, since i am on my last of medications) and some good music until we bring in the new year.. Like a Grown and Sexy House Party... and i'm down with that...

2O11... I look forward to what you have to teach me... I bring with me NO expectations.... Just Excitement... Only God Knows what is in Store and I leave it all to Him...
So 2O1O is only a memory... and 2O11 is only a Mystery... Imma Live Day by Day, Hour By Hour, Minute by Minute..
Overall... Imma Just do me... Cuz that is what I am the best at...
SEE YA in 2O11 BLOGGER! With MORE of that Juicy Juicy that makes me... ME!

Letter From Santa 2010

I wrote a letter to Santa this year and this is what he wrote back.

(Rein)DEAR Darrick

I really Appreciated your letter this year to me. It was filled with real true genuine emotions and feelings and that can never go unnoticed. I have been watching you very closely this year to see how naughty or nice you have been. I can truly understand your hurt and grief when it comes to your relationships with people who used to be close to you in your life. AS SANTA knows, Everything we do comes at a price. If i am not tending to the reindeer enough they become mad at me. If i am not spending enough time with Mrs. Clause because of tending to the reindeer, she becomes upset with me. Trust me when i say, everything we do comes with a price. If the price is good or bad depends on us, but it is a price nonetheless.

I have seen how much you have grown over the past year in emotions, and I am very proud of that. The world you live in is Tough, and i am glad you are handling it with dignity. Tough skin is good (Especially on that cold winter night I have to Deliver all those presents!! WHEW, Below Zero Temperatures are NOT fun! But the Joy of giving makes it all worth it).

CONGRATS ON GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE!!!!!!!!!!! ALL THAT HARD WORK FINALLY PAID OFF. The elves gave me a gift from them to put in your stocking. :-)

And Aww, I see You can not chew anything because of your surgery you recently had. I am sorry to hear and see your swollen Fat Chubby face. (Side Note Darrick Talking now: That was RUDE of Santa.. RUDE RUDE RUDE!!!!! haha)
It will Heal though in due time. And hopefully you will NEVER have to go through that again. I put an "extra" present under the tree just because you are going through this. :-)

Oh How can I forget about your Growth as a Dancer! Wow. I loved the set with the Clowns. (Even though I was not fond of the name. Such potty mouths) but it was a little too scary for Mrs. Clause, Rudolph, and some of the elves. Your team had me grooving in my Pajamas (Mrs. Clause Chuckled behind me because she remembers how bad i dance, but Making all these toys all year leaves no room for dance classes, that is why i am HAPPY Youtube gave me the opportunity to watch the dance sets.)

Well this is getting long and I have plenty more to write, but i just wanted to say Overall this year You have been on my Nice List. There have been a few instances that put you on my naughty list for quite some time, but at the end of the year my tally for you is more Nice than Naughty. So I hope you enjoy your Gifts I delivered to you. Enjoy the Family you are with. And the friends You have. Things are looking up for you. I know there are other things you desired on your list that I was not able to bring. But i feel with hard work, and persistence you will APPRECIATE them more when you can buy them on your own. Remember, I am here to reward and help you. Not be your Sugar Daddy! TRICK!!!!!! <---- (Did I use that Term Correctly?! Mrs. Clause does not think so! HAHAHA)

Well, On to the next year. Enjoy 2011, and remember, everything heals in due time. Growth comes when we least expect it, and surprises are around every corner. LIVE, Be daring, and bold. Take Initiative, speak your mind, and never hold back, because when you start to do the lack thereof, you're not living anymore.. your just being, and being lazy, and being lazy never Leads to Anything but failure.

And You Darrick Are NOT a Failure!

Nice to Hear from you.

Till Next time.

Kris Kringle

"Santa Clause"

P.S. NEXT YEAR MAKE ME A WHOLE RED VELVET CAKE. I took a PIECE and I LOVED IT! (IT'S BETTER than Mrs. Clause's, but don't tell her I told you that! Hee Hee. I love and would like to keep my Marriage! HAHAHAHA.) I will be expecting it next year.

S.C.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas To All! :-) I hope Santa Gives You everything You wanted!
More Details to come... I hope! HAHAHAHAHA

Day 4.

Had my Jaw surgery 4 days ago on the 18th of december...
This is not a fun or easy process...
I cant eat anything solid for 6 weeks...
Nothing i have to chew..
Soup... Mashed Potatoes...Yogurt, Ensures, and Boosts are all i can basically have.. ohh.. and Jell-o...
As i sit here i really want to cry because i have not been outside in the last 4 days.. I sit.. and sit.. and watch the time pass oh soo slowly..
I try to watch t.v.. i try to read books. i try to play games.. I try to do anything i can just to make the time go by faster..
But
Nothing Suffices...
They told me The swelling will go down in the 2nd or 3rd weeks after the surgery..
But.. I can still have swelling until ten weeks after the surgery...
I look like a Chipmunk...
I have had my wisdom teeth pulled out before and that for the two weeks of recovery was not that bad..
But this... This right here.. Is like torture..
I would not wish this on ANYONE...
But then again.. I want EVERYONE to experience this so that they know what i am going through...
Some people do not realize how much we take for granted the food we eat..
Man what I would do for a Cheeseburger right now...

On My Own

If it's not one thing.... It's another..... I have soo much on my mind it is really ridiculous... But this is what Life is about right.. Learning about things everyday.... The older i get the more i realize i really am on my own... Mentally, physically, socially... and The more i live.. the more i am ok with that...
Like i am getting used to being and doing everything by myself... and accepting it...
Like for instance.. yesterday...
I performed.. (I was not comfortable performing in my outfit but hey... the show must go on right... hahaha) But after the performance i was suppose to go to my friends brother's party.. she ended up needing to talk to someone and wanting to ride home with them.. which means.. no party for me.. So i was like ok.. (kind of bummed cuz i wanted to meet her brother and party with him cuz he seems really cool).. So I proceeded to make my way home..... i was driving home and my other friend invited me to play Monopoly and/or Volleyball with his friends, who i know, and i was all for it cuz i just did not want to go home... so I am driving to where i was told to meet them and then he tells me, when i am basically there, that they are bailing out of the idea... I was pissed.. but said.. ok.. thats cool.. feeling a little more disappointed...But i proceeded on my way towards home..... Then I called my other friend to see if he wanted to hang out and just chill together... and he told me he was just going to stay in tonight.. (which.. at this point.. was what i wanted to do) and i said.. thats cool I don't mind doing that.. and he said.. well..... i'm at home and just hanging with some other friends.. (which to me means.. i'm sorry.. But your not welcomed) So i just decided to finally go home... but the funny thing is that i was going to hang out with him on friday, since his date cancelled on him, i was going to fill in and chill with him. He wanted to go out and party, and i was saying we should just chill and drink and laugh and be stupid. He did not want to do that. but he ended up doing exactly that.. but just with other people. meaning staying at home and drinking with some friends... Like the same thing he did yesterday night...
The moral of that story is that there were 3 instances where i was bailed out on or just not invited to...
It sucks not feeling like i can have someone to just hang out with and talk to after i had a long kind of downer week...
These last couple of months... well.. year... i have found a pattern..
If anything.. 2010 has taught me that sometimes it is better to be alone...
Most Definitely in Love..But also in friendships... I know of ONE person who i can truly call a friend.. Love ya Mario... and maybe that is all i need..
2010 was the year of being alone...
Like i said... If it's not one thing.. it's another...
If it's not learning about being alone in relationships status.....Then its about being alone in Friendships....If it's not friendships, its Mentally (meaning no one understands me)
No pity party needed...
This part of my life, and being alone, is going to guide me to something bigger and greater then what i can see right now..
It's the process of going through it that may be tough..
But it is all for good..
It's All for the good of the future...
Or that's what i keep telling myself...
"Hold on.. everything will work out... "
So I keep a smile on my face,
Keep My head held High.....
And just Keep it pushing...
On My Own...
I'm Doing it...
On My Own...
And I'm Ok with that...
So if its not one thing its another...
But I'm Learning it
And doing it..
On my Own...

Party of Sex.

My Friend Just invited me to a sex party.. Umm. I have never been to one before.. I'm Scared... should I even go?! It would be a new and different experience.. but i am not sure.. People still throw those?! OH MY GOSH! really... It would be interesting.. but i would not want to have anything to do with the people i saw there.. OH NO.. what if i recognize someone.. AHHH.. what if they recognize me?! AHHHH... Umm...

My friend just invited me to a sex party... I have never been to one before.. I'm Scared...

But maybe...

Just maybe...

Naw...
(heehee)

OMG.

Ohh my gosh!!!! OH MY GOSH!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!

I realized that what i was thinking and feeling was not even worth it. ..

Like... You cute and All...
But not worth all the tears and whatnot i put in it...

Oh My Gosh...
FOR REAL?!

Like.. everything just became soo clear to me!

Moving on and REALLY realizing things feels Great...

Sure i would like someone to hold..
But it is not necessary...

and that.. Is what I came to realize right now...

The necessity of having someone is gone
Like i used to think in order to be happy.. I had to have somebody...

But it's not even like that...

I have to enjoy being by myself...
Loving Myself..
Enjoying My OWN company....
Why couldn't it really CLICK sooner...

Like this real realization was out of NOWHERE!

i DON'T need It...
I want it..
But I don't Need it!

What I NEED to do is focus on What I HAVE to do in order to get WHERE I want to go...

and THAT does not take someone else holding my hand.



So when i say OMG.. it does not mean "Oh My Gosh"....

It Means "On My Grind"...

Cuz that's exactly what i am going to be...

By Myself...

And I'm Soo down with that!