Fight.

I really have the Urge to Fight.. Literally... Beat Someone up.... Never had this kind of feeling before.. Like i feel if I beat someone up then i would feel better on soo many levels.. I don't know...Maybe it will work... Hmm... We will just have to see...

Sick. 4th Week Straight.

So Last night was Horrible.. Shivers.. Convulsing... Runny Stuffed up nose.. Having to get rid of the stuff in my nose every ten minutes.. Having dogs fight around me... Being too weak to move... Pounding Headache... Migraine... Slept in my mom's room...

No medicine is working...

Whats wrong with me?...

But.. within all of that.. I still smile!

Im scared to sleep in my room because i feel i will re infect myself more if i sleep in there.. But i am too weak to change the sheets...

I just wanna be held....but all i can do is curl up on the couch with a blanket and Hope tonight is better then last.

Ugh

Headaches.. Pounding.... Migraine... Coughing... Mucus... Bloody.... Nausea.... Must.. make.. it.. stop.... right.. NOW.

Exhale

(Darrick Inhales)

So today I had nothing but time to think..

I should have been doing my Homework..

But I will wait until tomorrow..

but like I said i had to time to think

Think about How I.. Me... I need to Exhale...

And breath..

Shoop.. shoop.. shoopadoop!

HAHA

Exhale and release the negative..

I have been on my P's and Q's since Jan 1st, 2010..

Keeping up with my Resolutions and I am very Proud of that...

even though i am still sick.. and this is going on the 4th week..

Everything is going better...

I, this year, have not let myself get to the point of feeling sorry for myself.

That's another accomplishment.

Yes 2010 has been already one of laughter and some hard times.

But I am promising myself that I will not be in any Drama this year..

I had almost made it without drama all last year

So i know this year i can surely make it.

I'm already proud of the accomplishments and growth i have done since Jan 1st, 2010.

Becoming a better Dancer.. I have been told I am getting Way better at dancing and executing the moves of different individuals.

Pushing myself at school with all of the things I am doing and STILL being able to be there for people when i have some time is an Accomplishment in and of itself.

I have become okay with being by myself in these past two months more then i have ever in my life.

I get about one phone call a day, maybe...

A few text here and there usually if i text the person first,

and I am okay with that.

I do not need people calling me all the time or texting me to feel secure and happy with myself.

I needed to find happiness in the stillness of everything and within myself.

and i am doing that.

I'm not looking to be popular....

if no one calls me in a day.....doesn't text me...

doesn't think about me.. it's fine...It's Okay...

cuz i am building that happiness within myself.

Exhale the things holding me back.

The people

The places

The thoughts

I am doing that

Ridding myself of things that are not for me.

People who are not for me, Nor do me ANY good.

Places that I should not go because they have Nothing there for me.

Exhale this going back and forth between emotions and thoughts

That right there.. Needs to stop..

I used to be a man who would think one way and nothing could shake what i thought.

But now i find myself questioning everything and questioning my judgement and going back and forth between being happy, and being sad.. (not for myself, but for certain situations) so I am still working on that...

But I am a work in Progress... I learned I am not as strong as I thought i was.. But trust me I am getting there.. and when i get there 100%.. I am NEVER GOING BACK! and you can take that to CHASE, BANK OF AMERICA, OR WELLS FARGO Banks! haha...

But in order to survive... I need to Exhale... Cuz Inhaling all the time without exhaling leads to a SUCKY life... So get all those old things and old breaths out your life... Keep the good.. And get rid of the Bad.. Keep the New.. and get Rid of the Old...

and THATS what I am doing.

So don't cry for me... Be happy for me... I'm doing what I need to do...

And Thats Moving on.

Thanks.

(Darrick Exhales)

Sober.

I was once strung out on love...

But now I'm Sober...

Used to Be All Down For it...

But Now I'm Sober

He was my addiction...

He was in my system.

But Now I'm Great.. I'm straight.

I used to be strung out on Love.. But now I'm Sober.

Sober, SOber, SOBer, SOBEr...

SOBER.

Trust

Trust is a very fragile thing.

Like Butterfly Wings... Beautiful to Hold.. But easy to Crush...

^^^^^^^^^^

Love that.. Thanks Krista R. for that.. :-)

Three Weeks... Sick.. WHERE THEY DO THAT AT?!

Ugh.. this being sick for three weeks is getting old and redundant... Blowing my nose at school.. walking around trying to keep the snot in my nose because i ran out of tissue.. Running to the bathroom to get some HARD toilet paper.. is making me FEEL worse.. Then when i am at home staying inside because people tell me i need to "SLOW DOWN" is not helping but i think is actually making me worse. I wanna be out... Not stay cooped up in this house. But when i am out.. I feel like i need to be home.. and when i an home.. I feel like i need to be out.. Ugh!

Imma need for this to hurry up and go Away! Now the simple nose congestion i believe is trying to make itself into a Chest Cold.. AHHH!!!! Let's hope for better feeling days Ahead! :-)