HEY Batter Batter Batter! SWING Batter Batter Batter!!!

Swing and a Miss... Swing and a Miss...Swing and a Clip...It rises behind me.. but is caught by the catcher... So i take a back seat.... regroup my thoughts... tell myself next time will be the one.... then I wait..and wait.. and wait... and then i'm up to bat again...
I step up to the plate.... i'm Focused... studied my playing field.. i know where to hit and i feel i got this... The ball is thrown, i see it coming... (oh I know i got this!)...i Swing... i Hit it!!!! i feel like it's going somewhere.... i see it's going to be a homerun...i get excited. I start running toward first base..."this is it. ... this is the one"...I'm feeling good. .. I'm feeling confidant..only for it to be caught at the last second... caught by someone else... symbolizing i'm out... So I walk back to the dug out...Head held a little lower... more broken... & more confused.

And I Wait.

Love...swept from right under me.. i feel i found it.. sometimes i'm even thought to believe it's reciprocated back.....for a little while... until something "better" comes along, Until their "ex" comes along (caught by someone else), until they wake up one day and out of the blue realize they are no longer interested in me (Caught by the catcher)...It happens time and time again.. and they all give the same reason.. either no reason and just dissapear, or they say.. i'm not ready...or I need time by myself.. and the next week they are back with their ex...or someone else.

I just can't win. I study, i watch, i adjust, and i still.. can't... win... Not even once....

I would like to at least once, be able to go around the bases without a fear of something going wrong... be able to stroll, take my time, and enjoy the benefits of hitting each base...1st...2nd..3rd.. Home...But instead, i'm stopped even before i get halfway to 1st base.

So I watch, and wait, watching every inning of my life pass before my eyes, thinking... "maybe this innings i'll hit a home run" but in reality going back to the plate more defeated each time...which makes me not even want to swing....Moving closer and closer into home plate so i can at least get hit with the ball... Yea there will be pain.. but at least i'll get to 1st base.

It will be the furthest i've ever been.

Love....I don't understand why I keep striking out with you?