So… The way I am feeling right now… I am tired…. But very grateful and Happy that I have this job. I mean.. It is giving me the financial freedom I need in order to do what I want. I like the people here. It’s getting a little easier (meaning knowing and remembering their names.) Just today I am soo tired because we, meaning breed, have rehearsals this whole week. And when we are done and I get home, it is time for me to get up (4:45 am). Some days it is harder then others. I find myself thinking it is soo late at night, and when I look at the clock, it is only 8:30 p.m. Having this job has made me adjust the way I think and plan. I really need to start planning even more. It is just soo hard to do everything I need to do on the only two days I have off during the week. I need to get back into that mode and mindset like I used to be when I had my other jobs. But…..It’s draining.. OHH.. so I work in Glendale and I live about an hour west WITHOUT traffic. But with traffic it turns into 2 and a half hours. So by the time I get and start work…I have already been up for almost 4 hours. Now don’t get me wrong. This job is giving me what I need, like I previously stated. I just have to readjust my priorities because this no sleep thing is starting to ware on me. I need to, at least, be getting 6 to 8 hours a night so I can stay how handsome I am! LOL.. I do not want bags under my eyes! That’s not cute!!!!! I do not want to look like a RACOON!!!!! HAHAHA! CHANGE OF HALF THE SUBJECT… haha…. Working in this office I have learned a lot of more legal things and sometimes it blows my mind what people file and consider injuries. But that’s besides the point I am trying to make. I did not know this was a law firm that represents the people that The majority of the world does not like.. THE CORPORATIONS…… DUH DUH DUH!!!!! (insert dramatic music here) It really makes me look at BOTH sides.. and especially hearing how some of the attorneys talk about the cases.. sometimes I can see why people do not like them.. But other times I know people are just trying to scam the system! That is basically what this whole office is about.. Trying to Figure out who is telling the Truth and Figure out who is Lying! The things I come across in this office can be quite Amusing. But nonetheless. It’s a good company.
Now what I really want is the permanent position!!!! I love being a temp... but I know I would love even more being PERMANENT!!!! Get benefits… and financial security knowing money will always be coming in when I work. AND THEN I CAN FINALLY MOVE OUT!!!!!!!
Speaking of that subject.. Oh my gosh…. I cant even begin to tell you how ready I am to move out.. the house that I live in right now is just That… a House.. I don’t feel nothing there.. no love… no nothing.. Its just a building with four walls that I take a shower in and get clothes from, and occasionally sleep. I only go there for a bout 3 hours a day and then I am back being busy and being in the streets.
Some things in that house I do not understand, but hey! I guess they are not made for me to understand. That’s why it is time for me to move! So I don’t have to fake the funk at home.. don’t have to try and understand why people do things the way they do in that household The way they think BOGGLES my mind!!!! No one telling me NOTHING. Me doing Me…. So I will already know and love the way I do things in my own Spot. No one telling me anything about how messy or clean things are… I will clean things when I get ready. Which will be often cuz I do not like a dirty house. But I know when I am living by myself I will keep things nice and neat.
I tell you man.. I try not to stir things up at that house but I know I need to stand up for myself and what I believe in. I will not let anyone just disrespect me. No matter if you are family or not. …ugh for that word, family, because I do not feel they are part of my family…
AHHHH I have soo much on my mind and I so not even know where to begin with the majority of it. Love, life, friendships, truthfulness, dance, videos coming out :-). More videos on the way… Hoping people like my stuff… Boogiezone show on Sat... Performing 4 times.. excited... .. HOW WE NEED TO GEFF IT!!!!! Cuz It’s the Biggest show of the year for Breed!!!!! But also my Self Confidence, Courage and Self Image and Worth are SOME of the things I would LOVE TO TALK ABOUT and just go on and on about.. But I just don’t know where to begin.. or what to say.. So… I will leave it at that.. I am sitting in this office writing this thing… Ohh.. I just looked at the clock and it is time for me to go!!!! Got rehearsal tonight... so... Just wanted to tell yall some thoughts floating in my head.. Have a great safe night yall... Peace... :-)
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