So i have soo much on my mind it is really ridiculous! I could literally start ANYWHERE! But as i take this lunch break i do nto have enough time to say EVERYTHING that i want to say. So i will start with what, to me, is the most important. hahaha.. I am skipping lunch and not buying anything BECAUSE i hate that I am spending soo much money on food and GAS! that is literally all i spend my money on... And I HATE that I eat out SOO much! But i cant go home and eat because i feel like the food that is there is not Mine. meaning i dont feel comfortable enough to just go in the fridge and pick something out and eat it, because i did nto physically go to the store and buy it! Sad it has come to that.. But again.. that just tells me that it is time to move!
Another thing is that i had THE MOST random DREAM i have had in a long time.. It makes me blush, but imma tell it anyway! HAHA.. So it was me and my friend Mike P chilling.. Just normally chilling, but this time we were on his bed and the bed was flying over different major cities. (Like the magic carpet from Aladdin!!! hahaha) then all of a sudden, just as to get comfortable, he pulls down his pants and his underwear.(OHH) Penis Exposed and All (UMMMM...). Then all of a sudden without ANY hesitation i roll over and start gobbling and slobbering on that thing! (AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!) The funny thing about it is that at first, Like for a MINI MILLISECONDM, he was shocked, then he just gave in and started enjoying it! I WAS GOING TO TOWN ON THAT THING FOR WHAT SEEMED ABOUT 45 MINUTES... I was giving it my all, but it did nto seem like he was hard at ALL.. i thought that thing was Flacid the whole time.. i think that is what made me keep going and going.. eh seemed to be enjoying it but the penis was sayign soemthing different, cuz it would not get Big and long.... then i stopped and was like.. ok.. i'm done... i guess you are nto enjoying it, and then he was like.. "OHH WHY YOU STOP.. KEEP GOING I'M ABOUT TO.. AHH.. AHH...(and he splattered all over the place!).... Cum....
HAHAHAHAHAHA.. I said "How in the world did you cum when you were not hard?!" and he said, "I was VERY hard" and i thought in my mind "Dang...then your thang is TINY!!!!!!!!!!!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA".... Then I turned to Mario (Which i am STILL trying to Figure out WHY he was in this dream!!!) and i said "did he seem hard to you?' and he said "I don't know"
and that's when I woke up!!!!!
UMMMM....this whole dream is disturbing cuz that is like my brother.... I was like... WHAT THE FOOF... I have NEVER had a dream about him, and the Dream that he is turns out to be a dream with me sucking him OFF! what in the WORLD DOES THAT DREAM MEAN?! Maybe it means i just need to get Laid! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Random Dreams... HAHAHAHA
Anyway, I find myself, while at work, dazing out the windows of the attorneys offices and just getting lost in my thoughts. The thought that is crowding my mind as of lately is of me finding the "One for me". I have been listening to Whitney Houstons song "Someone For Me" for the past 3 days over and over and over again. Just trying to figure out what I am LACKING.. What I could do Better.. What i could use less of.. or more of.. just to have someone even acknowledge i am there... I find myself feeling soo Overlooked and i know these are not good thoughts to have.. I fidn myself lookign at the hills and just thinking about me and whoever i am with on those hills having a good time.. making memories.. and just enjoying each other....
Just one person to look my way would be nice.. One person to come up to me and tell me i am attractive...
Fidn myself getting mini Depressed everyday.. now don't get me wrong.. I pull myself out of it everyday... (Thank Goodness) but it still would be nice just to have one person acknowledge I exist.
Last thing i will talk about ON THIS entry is.... I seriously am Tryign not to let Jealousy show its UGLY head in me...this issue just has to do with feeling Appreciated for all the things i have done.. People who do WAY less then me get acknowledged for things they hardly did, but i go full out and above and beyond.. and i get.. nothing.. I am not looking for attention or anything ike that.. but man.. just give me what i deserve...Show me that everything i am doing is not for nothing... Cuz if it is.. I will just STOP doing anything and everything, in regards to this dance situation. just sucks when you are not even acknowledged in your passion.
Anyway.. it's time for me to go back to work..
Have an AWESOME DAE! :-) hahaha
Peace
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