So....

Today i found myself with some time on my hands and some thoughts in my mind so I am writing them down. Nothing Fancy or Deep. (I hope) But just my little fingers writing whatever comes to mind.

Vibe was Last Weekend (1/30/11) and let me tell you.. I had soo much Fun… Just preparing for vibe was fun.. The new team is growing on me very fast and i am enjoying everyones company. I love cooking and making things for them to try.. Some i am a pro at.. and some i am not.. but just seeing them enjoy whatever i make makes me happy..

But anyway Vibe was dope.. All the talent that was in the building was something i could not grasp my head around. All the acts worked really hard and you could tell the hunger they had for placing. If it was my way everyone would have gotten an award… But if that was the case.. No one would work hard.. HAHAA..

The only bad thing was that i had no money.. So i was asking people if they could buy food for me (Thanks Sidney)… I hate being without money and not knowing where my next dine is going to come from… But i know this is a temporary problem so i will not dwell on it too much. I just can not let another year go by without having some sort of income.

With that in mind i just sit at home.. look for jobs, and watch shows. Giving me some sort of entertainment when i am not dancing.. and the show i have come across and decided to watch the whole series is Dexter. Now i tried to watch this show about a year ago but i was not feeling it. What made me try again.. I do not know.. But now i Like it.. It’s soo dark.. but funny.. and now gives me something to look forward to… Sounds bad that all i have to look forward to is a television show. Hopefully that will all change soon when i find a job. The show is Really good though.. I recommend watching it if you haven’t already.

Another thing that has crossed my mind recently is that Valentines Day is coming up.. A day filled with Love and Appreciation for the one who is giving you love. And this year, I am happy with myself .. I am content with the love I feel for myself… Now last year was another story… I was down and out.. But this year.. it’s a complete 180 degrees, and i like that… It took me going through the worst valentines day, to make these next ones the best. :-) yay for growth. I actually welcome Valentines Day.. I look forward to Baking some Valentines Day Cookies and just enjoying me. Actually now that I think about it.. Thanking and Loving God for the Love He has For me… and for the love He is preparing for me… Valentines Day is meant for love.. no matter what kind.. so.. Imma love the love God has for me!

I see everything going back to normal again.. I see myself going back to the way i was previous to the end of 2009 and i am stoked about that.. Meaning singing and hearing songs and not making a connection to any experiences I have had in my life. Seeing images and not feeling any particular way towards them, shoot… not feeling anything at all… this is what i think is true growth and true acceptance for what happened in my life. I had never gone through something like that, and so i did not know how long it would take me to truly get through that particular hurt in my life. There were some times I did not think i would ever get through this and it would hurt me for the rest of my life… But… once i got rid of everything associated with the incident… I finally started making some drastic progress and I LOVE that! truly moving on and pouring hot chocolate on that cold heart of mine that I had… Letting me love me again… which in turn i feel will let others love me…

That incident was a Mountain, turned into a Hill, which turned into a boulder, which turned into a rock, which is now a pebble. Which is something I can step over…

A motto I live by is Experience, Learn, Embrace, and Move On! (ELEAMO<—-corny word i know.. but it works! hahaha) and once i am in the moving on stage regarding a situation there is no turning back!

So… This Valentines Day is a celebration for the love I thought I lost… The Love I thought I would Never get back… The Most valuable Love in all the universe… The love I have for me…

Ok ok ok…. this did get a little out of the kiddie pool zone but my fingers just kept writing what was on my mind…

But….

The Most important thing on this particular blog is…..

VIBE WAS DOPE! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Congrats to all the teams that Placed….

Peace.