The Freedom Celebration

I just realized how close the date is for my mothers Husband to get out of prison. She was showing me her planner and i noticed that she had a countdown going on in her book. So i asked her what it was.. she was hesitant to tell me, but then she said.. "Th day Terry gets out" when she said that I almost lost my breath. I could not speak for about 10 seconds.. and i noticed that even after that I was fumbling over my words. I don't know the specific date.. But i know it is in May.. Man i wanted to be out and on my own by the time he got out because i did not want to have to deal with him.. But now i realized he is getting out around the time of me graduating...

I have never appreciate him and the things he has done... Me having to be face to face with him will be one of the hardest things i have ever done in my life. I know everyone deserves a chance.. but i can't do it... I cant give a man who has spent the majority of his life in pison respect with dealing with my mother...

What if he is not a changed person?

What if he brings his friends to our house?

What if he has some unfinished business he needs to take care of?

When he gets out he is moving RIGHT into the house i live in..

My mom welcoming him with Open arms....

While i monitor his every move..

I am not ready to deal with this.

I am not ready to deal with the fact that i lost respect for my mother over this man.. I lost almost all respect for her and it is just now starting to become better.. and now he is actually going to be thrown in the mix.. That's like ripping the bandage off the wound again and STARTING OVER..

This came quicker then i wanted and thought it would

it will take a LONG time for him to earn my respect.

Time.. Time heals all.. and this one i am definitely going to have to give time....

I just think it is soo funny how my mom won't accept me being Gay and Loving a man.. But expects me to accept her marrying someone who could put her life in danger and has a record of doing that. I have to accept her kissing and hugging all up on him, but she does not want to have ANYTHING to do with anyone i am dating who might make me happy! She doesn't even want to see that because she said i will be disrespecting her if she sees that...

So in this coming May it will be a Bittersweet Celebration.. I am celebrating me Getting out of school (freedom) and all the accomplishments I have achieved in these last 5 years... My mother, who seems like she appreciates the little he does for her more then all I do.. Celebrates her husband achieving freedom for the first time in 13 years.