Void!

I just want to void of love to leave..
I don't want to have that void anymore
I don't want to think about love..
I don't want to think about emotions
and someone caring... I don't want it..
I don't want it
I don't want it.
I don't want love...
the void of love.....
Needs to go...
Now..
Please...
Now...

On It...

I Noticed some things that are quite disturbing...
Just gotta uplift myself and tell myself that everything will come in due time....
Until then.. Just gotta Stay On My Grind.

Overall Really

Overall Really.... All I want is Everything.
Is that too much to Ask?

Hate

I know hate is a STRONG word.. but... that's what i am feeling right now... Hatred! Towards Who?.... My Mother!

Being Gay

To me..... Being gay is one of the hardest things i have to deal with....
to seeing friends wanting to kill themselves
to just feeling like i am Not wanted or even needed...
just because i am gay.
I went out yesterday for a friends birthday and saw how easy it was for her to get and talk to guys...
when i try to do that.. i get stared at and rejected quicker the an old bottle of rotten milk..
and i ask myself..
what is wrong with me?
Am i ugly,
Do i stink,
what is wrong...
I always seem to get looked over for some reason....
Today i am a lot stronger then what i was 365 days ago..
But i still feel that it is not enough
(Delete)
(Delete)
(Delete)
Sigh.....
soo much is going through my mind...
i have written and deleted soo much of this post...
it's crazy..
bottom line is...
Sometimes i think being gay is the hardest things i have to deal with.

How I Got These Scars.

Oct. 10th?! What?!

It's something about October 10! This day is starting to show a pattern.. maybe i should be paying attention... Hmmm... I've never felt soo much Deja'vu in one day before.... and it was REAL Deja' Vu... Literally the same thing happened this year that happened last year... October 10th.... This one day is starting to have great importance, whether for the good or the bad... let's see what happens october 10th, 2011! HAHAHA